32 Weeks and Nearly Six Months Ago

Now, being exactly 32 weeks along, it is funny to look back past the summer to the first few months of my pregnancy-before I even knew. I remember complaining about how tired I was. So exhausted I could barley wiggle my finger. I must be getting sick I thought. I couldn't get enough sleep, I was nauseous and sick to my stomach but also starving-feed a cold starve a fever, right?

But I wasn't feeding a cold, turns out I was feeding a baby. I never would of though of it, that I might be pregnant, I didn't even enter my mind. I did happen to notice that "Aunt Flow" had not visited me in a while, but I was stressed. I didn't want to consider it really. I had taken multiple pregnancy test before, all negative, but this time I dreaded it. I couldn't tell you why but I guess it's because deep behind the reality of what my mind didn't want to accept, I knew. And I didn't want to. I didn't want proof.

It was Thursday, March 27th. I saw him and his girlfriend, my eyes teared up and I knew I had to take the test. "I must be having his baby, why else would I cry?" Those exact words flowed through my mind. I skipped my last class and went to Target. Pretty much, it was now or never, mom and the kids were gone for the week and dad wouldn't be home today... we know the rest of the story. I took the test, two in fact.