Heartbeat

Today I had my first official doctors appointment. After today I am even more at ease with my doctor. She is really nice and calm and helps me feels relaxed about everything.
The exam this afternoon was the typical beginning with eyes, ears etc and ending with the pelvic exam-not the most fun thing in the world. The best part of the visit was last when I was able to hear my baby's heartbeat. She didn't find it at first and I was a little nervous plus I really was anxious to hear it. She called another doctor in to help her find it and once he did she let me hear it again.
It was amazing really, just amazing-I can't explain it any other way. I still can't believe there is a life inside of me and it is so tiny! I was really surprised how fast the heart was beating and how clear I was able to hear it.
I must say when I heard it I felt a little spark of excitement. I realized this is for real, I am having a baby. For a minute I forgot everything about this situation that makes me sad and I was excited and happy about this baby. I kept telling myself that this will be a good thing, a blessing. But after hearing the heartbeat I actually felt it for the first time.
I heard the fast whooshing-thump sound and as tears pooled in my eyes a smile spread across my face. I can't really explain the feeling I had. I was a feeling I have never had before for some I haven't even met or seen or even felt. It was just a sound. A heartbeat.